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♥ G0t PRiD3? DaMN $tRaiGHt! ♥♥ G0t PRiD3? DaMN $tRaiGHt! ♥
04.15.2008 America/New_York -0400 EDT

I'm not sure what to do, about this friend of mine, he judges me like crazy - every single time...

If I do something wrong, I guess he's the first to know, because all I end up hearing is I'm fucked up and I'm low...

I can never make a mistake, without being treated like I'm nothing...

What kind of best friend does that to you?  Mine does, so I have to do something...

Do I tell him how I feel, and risk losing him forever?

Or do I keep this to myself, and hope we stay together?

I NEED ADVICE, PLZ WRITE YOUR RESPONSES!

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04.15.2008 America/New_York -0400 EDT

So this weekend was a lot of fun!  Friday around 5 o'clock, I got into the truck and drove off to South Buffalo.  I got to my Uncle Bob's and hugged everyone like crazzi because I didn't see them for almost 2 years!!  That's horrible, lol.  We were going to go to the mall when I got there, but we decided to just go chill and stuffs.  So that's what we did.  We were listening to music and dancing and stuffs, it was mad fun.  Around 9:30pm, we left where we were and went back home.  Gabby and I had a sheet pizza waiting for us, yes!  After that, we watched Dead Silence and went to sleep.  The next morning, we all woke up around 10:00am, and took our showers, played Guitar Hero and finally started the troop to Caz Park.  It was raining kind of and it was cold, so I was freezing in my capris [dumbass me.]  We got to Caz and played a lot of hackysack before we decided to walk back to Babcock.  We walked back, went out again and did what we did the 1st day, dance and chill!  Lol, we were losers all weekend.  Sunday I got up around 11:00am and got picked up to go back to Riverside at 3:00pm.  I immediately went to John's to help babysit and chill.  David, Gena and I went out to chill with Kayla, Sammy, Angel and Megan for a bit until David and I decided it was time to eat.  I finally got to see my Johnny after 3 days without him at like 10:00pm!  I missed him and Steph so much, and now I'm with Steph in class.  =]  I missed a lot of people though, not just them!  I'm going to get going, got school work to do!  ♥
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04.12.2008 America/New_York -0400 EDT

Tj leaves for West Virginia today...  He's probably on his way to live with his sister out there right now...  I can't believe last night was the last time I'll ever get to see him unless he comes back to Buffalo for visits.  Last night, Tj spent .00 on smoking for the final time with the crew in John's attic.  It was Tj, John, David, Angel, Steph, Sammy and I all together for the final smoke.  Some of us didn't smoke, but we were still there for the moment.  John made a hooka and we had mad fun together.  Tj was supposed to leave us at 9:00pm last night, but around 8:30pm he wound up storming out of the room with nothing more than a "see ya later," which we all knew couldn't happen again.  After like a minute or two, I ran downstairs and outside after Tj to see what's going on.  I had to run half a block in my socks until I found him.  He told me that he was good and just to let him leave...  To keep everything he left behind.  And with that he gave me a small hug and walked away.  That's the last I'll see of him for a long time.  I broke down immediately after that walking back to John's house.  I could barely breathe I was crying so much.  I didn't really talk much the rest of the night and then this morning I woke up to texts from Tj telling me he was too high and upset to stay any longer...  He just didn't want to face us all and have to say goodbye.  I don't know if that'll make things easier for us all, but it doesn't matter for me.  I had to watch him walk away for good...  No matter what I'll always love that kid.  He was an amazing friend to come to for advice or a good time.  He had an amazing heart and I love him so much.  I'll never forget him, ever.  GENNY -N- TJ : FRIENDS FOREVER.  I just can't really believe he's gone...♥
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04.09.2008 America/New_York -0400 EDT

I really wanna fuckin' snap lately...  I'm so stressed out because of everything i deal with and all of my surroundings.  I can't get away from responsibility for even thirty seconds.  Everytime I turn around, I'm doing something new to help someone or whatever the fuck and I feel dumb because I hate it, yet I can't say no.  I have mad school stress and thinking skipping will stop it actually makes it worse.  Then there's David && my relationship.  We argue kind of often and he tries to do things to make me happy that, at times, make me even more aggravated.  I have my friendships that I'm slowly gaining back after I pretty much lost them all, and I just can't deal anymore.  So this weekend I'm getting away.  Right after school Friday I'm hopping on the bus [number twenty-three] and goin out to South Buffalo.  I won't be back until Sunday night and I'm not answering my phone at all except for my parents.  I need an escape and with this opportunity, I'm taking it.  Ugh! <33

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03.12.2008 America/New_York -0400 EDT

I've stressed myself sick as hell, I don't know how to make it better.  I can't try getting away from the stress when it's everywhere around me...  It's friends, family && relationships, it's deep down inside, or always around the corner.  It won't go away, I always have to run...  I'm hurting like crazzi, I feel like dying...  I want to be okay again, but I don't know where okay lies for me...  Is it with the friends that cause the pain, or the love that tears me apart?  Where am I going to be okay?  I think I'm going to start over and let everything and everyone go...  Because when life gets tough, the best thing to do for you && the ones you love is let go of the ones that mean the most to you...  =[
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03.05.2008 America/New_York -0400 EDT

I had a pretty crazy day yesterday, lol.  To start off, after school I went to Charlie's house with him, Suzen, John && Steph to notarize our statement signatures.  We were locked out until like 4:30pm, so me, John && Steph just left.  We met up with Clayton and were going to Riverside High School to meet up with the Riverside Crew Girls, to find out that Angel's crazy older sister was after us.  We ran through the fields and kept going until we hit school #51 in Black Rock.  We met up with even more of the girls and just chilled there until like 6:00pm.  Me, John && Steph went back to Charlie's, took care of our signatures and met back up with the girls at McDonalds.  We all ate and chilled there for awhile until we went back to Riverside High to hang out.  We spun around in circles and tried running in straight lines, had tackle wars and all kinds of stuff.  It was so much fun.  Around 10:00pm, me, Chrissy && Danielle went to Chrissy's and played spades with the guys until 11:00pm when David showed up to walk me home.  My day was kinda undramatic, but still dramatic.  I love my friends. Hehe. ^_^
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03.04.2008 America/New_York -0400 EDT

=[ I'm sad.  I don't know how to feel about everything anymore.  The Fuck-Ups are breaking up and it hurts really bad.  To some of us, the Fuck-Ups are all there is.  Johnny seems to be changing, and blames his surroundings, but his surroundings have barely changed for them to change him.  Steph needs us, and we're all just letting go.  Danielle's getting distant from pretty much everyone, the last few days even me.  David's baby cousin just passed away last night and he's changed as it is...  He said he wanted to work things out with me, yet winds up with hickeys on his neck from Kera Mancino [the same girl he cheated on me with when we dated before].  I am just getting distant from everyone because life sucks and hurts me really bad.  I cried yesterday from 9:00pm until 2:00am over everything that's going on.  I want everything to be okay, but I'm not sure if it will be... ='[

Fuck-Ups Forever, no matter what.

*Gennerz.*

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02.25.2008 America/New_York -0400 EDT

My life's so crazy and confused, I'm unsure what to do && how to feel.  Last night, David && I broke up.  I just couldn't be with him because I'm still not over Mark && I'd feel horrible if I wound up cheating.  We're staying friends, but there's more to it.  Like not to mention how I just haven't been feeling the same...  I don't know what's wrong with me, I just need to be single.  I keep saying that && then not following through, but I have to listen to myself this time.  Take a break, at least a month or so to be with myself.  Whatever happens after that happens.  I also quit all smoking officially 2 days ago.  =)  I think I'm going to be okay.

♥Little Crazy Straw!♥

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02.22.2008 America/New_York -0400 EDT

I'm extremely proud of myself and the choices i'm making. To start off, I had a really good day yesterday getting to spend time with two people I haven't chilled with in months. I've missed them so much, and even though it was slightly emotional, it was fun. =) I've also started making better decisions for myself. I'm going to completely quit cigarettes after the pack i own now is gone. Once they're gone, I'm done. I've already quit smoking pot, so I'm doing awesome.  I don't think I'll quit drinking because I only do it like once every month or so anyways. It'll be my only partying resort. I think life will get alot better with this plus I'm going to start being around my other friends more. I'm not gonna stick to the same people every single day, I'm branching out and showing respect to all my friends. As for relationships, I'm happy, but unhappy too... We'll see what happens. I just know life's definately looking up from here. =) Yay me! Well, that's all for now!

*Genny! [Getting Over The Fuck-Up Stages.] <3

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02.06.2008 America/New_York -0400 EDT

No matter what we go through you'll always be my best friend. You mean alot more than you think you do to me. I love you so much, I just have trouble showing it when you're mad at me, calling me names, judging me, etc. You've changed alot, but so have I. Our friendship will never be the same, but we need to try. I'm glad I got to finally see how you feel about me written down in your words cuz I know the truth now. Don't ever let me go, I love you, Noodlebutt! <3333333
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02.06.2008 America/New_York -0400 EDT

i feel sickkkkkk. urgh, i wanna throw up. i feel so horrible, i don't think i'm lasting this whole school day. wtf man... ='(
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02.04.2008 America/New_York -0400 EDT

the weekend's over... gay?!  it was mad fun, but it's come to an end...  go Giants! lmfao. so no night's were wasted this weekend, lmfao. *check the quote* yeah, we had fun - all 9 of us. BIG JOHN, MANCINO, DEVIN, MICHELLE, DAVID, STEPH, DANIELLE, JOHN && I.  i love my friends.  =)  forever they'll be mine.  <33

PS: I LOVE COLORING TIME.

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02.01.2008 America/New_York -0400 EDT

Fuck-up Weekend has officially begun!!! Today is Danielle's birthday && Sunday is Big John's birthday && the Super Bowl, so this weekend will be amazing. "DANIELLE && BIG JOHN'S ALL WEEKEND BIRTHDAY && SUPER BOWL CELEBRATION!!"  It's going to be amazing. Smoking && Drinking ALL WEEKEND. God, I'm such a fuck-up. =P Lmfao, we all are.

FUCK-UP CREW FOREVER: David, Johnny, Danielle, Steph, Mancino && I.

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Name: Genny [PRIDE] &♥;
Country: United states
City: Buffalo, NY.
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