I'm a fuck-up. Ohhh yeahhh. Fuck-up loser. Me, Danielle, Steph, John, David && Mancino. At least we have fun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hahaha. Fuck-ups Forever!
"If you're not wasted, the night is!!!"
I don't know what's going on with me. I'm changing... I'm starting to care more, and want to argue less. I had this crazy dream I just can't get out of my head; and now all of a sudden I'm more forcused && less argumentative. I think this is a good sign for 2008. Watch out && be prepared, because a whole new Genny is about to be released... <33
Well, i did have something really important to write about, but i can't remember what it was. See, i'm in the Riverside Library during my lab class, and Sam was talking to me. I got side-tracked listening, so now i have nothing to type about. So instead of something semi-important, i'm rambling on about how i can't remember what that important thing was. Mature, huh? o.0; God, i'm such a loser... I'm so bored, i wanna sneak onto MySpace with the proxy[s] i know, but if the librarian sees me, that plan goes *pfft.* =P What to say, what to say... !?!? Wtf did i wanna talk about? Ugh, whatever obviously it wasn't as important as i had assumed it was, or i wouldn't have forgotten it all so easily - without a trace. On that note, i'll type more eventually. Ttfn, adios. <3333
Tears run down my face.
I can't replace.
And now that I'm strong, I have figured out,
How this world turns cold and it breaks through my soul.
And I know I'll find deep inside me,
I can be the one.
I will never let you fall. (let you fall.)
I'll stand up with you forever.
I'll be there for you through it all. (through it all.)
Even if saving you sends me to heaven.
It's okay.
It's okay.
It's okay-e-ay-e-ay.
Seasons are changing,
And waves are crashing,
And stars are falling all for us.
Days grow longer and nights grow shorter,
I can show you I'll be the one
I will never let you fall. (let you fall.)
I'll stand up with you forever.
I'll be there for you through it all. (through it all.)
Even if saving you sends me to heaven.
'Cause you're my, you're my, my-e-y-e-y,
My true love, my whole heart.
Please don't throw that away.
'Cause I'm here... for you!
Please don't walk away and,
Please tell me you'll stay... here!
Whoa-oh!
Stay!
Whoa-oh!
Use me as you will!
Pull my strings just for a thrill!
And I know I'll be okay,
Though my skies are turning gray! (gray! gray!)
I will never let you fall!
I'll stand up with you forever!
I'll be there for you through it all,
Even if saving you sends me to heaven!
I will never let you fall!
I'll stand up with you forever!
I'll be there for you through it all,
Even if saving you sends me to heaven! (fade out)
David && I are talking again. We started talking on AIM yesterday [well, he was on AIM, i was on my phone.] and we began talking about everything that's been going on between us. We both told the other we missed && loved the other [friends only!] && that we needed to talk face-to-face. So Sammy, Angel && i were at Johnny's house when David got home && we all chilled for awhile. After about an hour, Sammy && Angel left && David && i spent sometime playing GH && talking. We had a really emotional talk && we both know it'll be a tough road getting to forgive && forget && also to trust one another. But we're working on our friendship && i'm glad things are getting better. i don't need these broken friendships... they hurt. && i'm glad after i decided things would be up to him, he came around. let's hope we can work back to being besties once again.
what do you do when one of the most amazing friendships you've ever had is on the rocks? ... what about 2? idk what to do about my friends anymore, i feel like all i do is fuck up the friendships. i can't blame them, unless i'm really mad, but even then i don't even believe it. i feel like everytime something goes wrong on account of them, it's just because of something i've previously done. i feel like all i can do is hurt the ones i love, and i don't want to do that! How can i show my friends how sorry i am for always hurting them? i can't buy them back, or just make it fix itself. and i definately can't talk it out, because everytime i try to talk, i fuck it up. but what i don't get sometimes, is when I'M willing to work it out, and they're not. does that still make it my fault? i don't even know anymore, but i do know this: [poem]
i hate the arguing, broken friendships and pain.
i hate the way i make you feel - so insane.
i hate the things i say and the things i do,
i hate everything... all except for you.
So i'm finally back to school after the 4-day Thanksgiving weekend!!! My weekend was kinda fun, but there were times I wish I wasn't existing. That was only once though. I'm all good now. Let's see what I did...
To start it off, this is Thursday: I spent most of the day alone at home because of Thanksgiving, except for when I stopped over at Kayla's around 12pm until 1pm. I spent the day with my parents, 2 younger sisters, older sister & her boyfriend and my nephew. I ate alot, lol. After things started settling down at home, Sammy came over and then we went and slept over at Chrissy's house. I got to see Angel that night, too.
Now, onto Friday: I didn't really get to see anyone. Around 4pm, I walked over to Vanessa's house and then we went to the Boulevard Mall. We got there around 5pm and had pretty much no money. We went into almost every single store in that mall and stayed walking around until 9:11pm when our bus came. We ate pretzels and got new stuff and took Stress Tests; it was alot of fun. I'm happy I got to spend that time with Vanessa.
Saturday: I spent most of Saturday chillin' with Chrissy at her house, but I also seen Sammy, Angel & David. We watched Saw 3 and that movie is so twisted. I was texting Mark while watching that and was getting into a really deep conversation. Finally, Mark told me he wants to be with me again, just needs a bit more time. I was so happy, but at the same time kinda sad because I knew I'd have to break it to David. So I did; and that didn't turn out good. He was crying and then went into one of his Panic Attacks. I was freaking out! After about an hr, David got okay again, and I went home to get my stuff cuz I was sleeping over Chrissy's again with Kayla!
Last, but not least, Sunday: After we woke up and finished getting ready; David, Angel, Sammy, Chrissy, Kayla, Michelle and I went to Raymond's house for a party. It was alot of fun, we chilled with Raymond, Phearon, Brandon, Ryan, etc. and just partied!! We ate and tasted chocolate shots of JD, lol. I even got B to take one!! It was nuts. I had an ass smacking war with Ray and then he almost raped me. It was great. XD After the party, we got back to Chrissy's and then I went to John's for a bit to see him, Mark & Henry. I loved getting to see them because I've missed them all. After awhile I went back to Chrissy's and just chilled until 10:30pm. We had alot of fun and I'm glad that for my long weekend I got to see everyone. =]]
MY WEEKEND WAS FUCKING SWEET! I LOVE MY DUMBASS FRIENDS!!!!!!!!!! XD RIVERSIDE CREW & SSSB FOREVER & ALWAYS!!!!
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