I'm so unsure of what to do with myself anymore. I can't stop thinking of all the bad things that could happen within the next few weeks. I feel like I'm losing everything all over again. When I got to spend time with Mark, he told me I was gaining my chance back && more, but I feel like that's giving me hope I will end up losing. I feel like my grip is slipping on the love I have for him all over again. I don't want to lose him, I just can't... It hurts so bad knowing the chance is there && real... My Junior Prom is coming up in about two weeks && Mark && I planned to go together since my Freshmen Summer, but now it's just a maybe. That chance is going away for me && I feel so bad! I don't want to go without him, because whether I have fun or not, nothing would compare to how I'd feel with him beside me there. I want to share that special night with the guy I'm totally and utterly in love with. I hate knowing that she could be taking him away from me; whether it's just a little while or forever. I don't want him to let go of me. I'm so depressed. I was starting to eat again because things had seemed to be looking up, but now I'm back to starving myself && I've been going so crazzi that now when I cry I start hurting myself. Yesterday while I was crying I was scratching at my arm && now I have a tiny cut next to my old burn marks... which were also from depression with Mark. I don't want to hurt myself, I really don't, but all of this is killing me... ='[ I need help, I need advice, I need to be saved... Why can't he see how much I'm dying && come to my rescue??
He cant just pop up and save you again because no matter how much your hurting he has gone through it already and is trying something new you guys could get back together and break up in a month you guys went out twice before and it didnt work then so there is a chance it wont work again and mark doesnt want his chance of being happy to be gone forever
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