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♥ G0t PRiD3? DaMN $tRaiGHt! ♥♥ G0t PRiD3? DaMN $tRaiGHt! ♥ |
okay, so i'm taking your advice and going to tell you how i feel about everything...
brandon,
we have been friends since late June of 2006 and our friendship was so amazing for the first year. you, john, mark and i were inseperable - bonded by the hip. we had sleep overs and played video games together, wrote on your wall and had our fake wrestling wars. we never got mad at each other, never argued, nothing. after mark and i broke up, everything started to change. everyone started seperating and getting really distant, whether we all wanted it to happen or not. with all of us distancing, we argued more and our group split up. i didn't want it to happen, but it did and i was torn up so bad on the inside. i didn't show it that well and i know i didn't, but i was feeling horrible. i want to make it work, i really do, but i just don't know how anymore. we don't even know how to have a simple conversation anymore without tearing each other apart at the seams. i hate it and i know i've fucked up, doing shit i shouldn't do, changing my group and never coming to visit, etc. but i still care. i can't imagine life without having you to turn to. if anything, your judging makes me feel like you don't care much, but i know you do so at the same time it makes me feel special. if you have a problem with anything i'm doing, i listen to what you have to say and even though we wind up arguing about it, it's only because i'm defending myself and the stupid things i say and do. i know it makes us drift further apart, but at the end of it all, we both try to make it better. i love you with all my heart, you'll never stop being my best friend whether i act like it or not. you're amazing to me, the shyness, the anger, the happiness, everything. i'm seen you smile, i've seen you cry and in the end i always tried to be right there by your side. i don't know if this can make anything better, but know this. i love you and will never give up on you. you'll always be my best friend and even if life takes us far, far away from each other, i'll remember everything we went through - the good and the bad and always think to myself "yep, that's still my best friend."
love always and forever,
genny.